I’m anxious about lots of things tonight. It’s been one of those kinds of days.
The only trouble is I’ve had more of those days lately than I’d really like to have. I know that I’m always going to be an anxious person. There’s no changing that. What I can change is how I react to those anxious thoughts and feelings. For lots of reasons, the strategies that I usually use to keep those thoughts and feelings under control have not worked as well as they usually do.
In many ways, I’d rather be depressed than anxious. They’re usually inseparable from each other, so I suppose I can’t have one without the other. I really can’t say that I have been depressed lately so much as I have had a lot of negative self-talk. Even earlier tonight I was working on this antimicrobial stewardship thing I’m trying to get certified in and I kept missing questions on the test at the end of one of the sections and I would say to myself “I am so stupid!” which is patently untrue but nevertheless, was the automatic response I had.
So it’s no wonder I’m drinking tonight. Liver enzyme test results be damned.
So in an attempt to keep anxiety at bay, here’s a list of some fun things.
- Madonna’s “Gang Bang” and Jermaine Stewart’s “We Don’t Have To Take Our Clothes Off” have aged better than you would expect.
- I get new glasses this week. They have shipped from Texas and are supposed to be here Saturday but I really want them to be here on Friday because I have that day off and I can’t wait to start wearing them. New glasses, new Dan so to speak.
- Deborah Harry is going to be 72 and she still sounds as good as ever.
Something that is not so good is that I have a raft of journals from my college years that are password protected and I thought I knew the passwords but apparently for some of them I don’t. Maybe on a night that I’m not drunk on the Valentine’s Day wine that Heidi bought for me, I’ll be able to remember them. Although a part of me thinks that perhaps they are better off forever sealed.