Horny Horns

Horns_Official_Movie_PosterLast week, I watched Horns, starring Daniel Radcliffe of Harry Potter fame, directed by Alexandre Aja, the man at the helm of such cinematic masterpieces as Piranha 3D, and based on the book by Joe Hill.  I was eagerly anticipating this one, as I had heard pretty good things about it. I hadn’t read the book, but I’m not completely sold on Joe Hill, the son of horror maestro Stephen King, as the one book of his that I read (Heart-Shaped Box) was only ok.

As it turns out, that’s kind of my opinion on Horns as well – only ok.

Radcliffe, playing decidedly against type, stars as Ig Perrish, a young man suspected of brutally killing his girlfriend Merrin. He’s not been charged, but he’s already been tried and convicted in the court of public opinion in the small town where he lives.  One night, after going on a bender and waking up horribly hung over, he looks in the mirror and sees that a pair of devilish horns are starting to grow out of his head. He quickly finds that the horns compel people to confess their darkest sins.

Honestly, I was only marginally interested in the whodunit aspect of the movie. I was more interested in what was going to come out of people’s mouths when they came into the general vicinity of Ig’s horns. Some of the confessions were heartbreaking, some hilarious. It reminded me of how good it is that people have filters that prevent them from saying whatever crazy thing pops into their heads.

Overall, the film is kind of clunky and oddly paced, mixing the story with flashbacks as the identity of Merrin’s killer is fleshed out.  The final third of the movie is very what-the-fuck, but whatever. We’re talking about a movie where a guy has horns growing out of his head. If you wanted realism, you probably shouldn’t have looked here.  But the shoddy story-telling was what ultimately caused this movie to get a 3-star rating from me.  Not having read the book, I’m not sure how it stacks up against its source material, but I’m not really inclined to read it either.

The failure to somehow incorporate Paula Abdul’s “Vibeology” and it’s “horny horns” refrain into the movie remains a missed opportunity, but this gif made the rounds shortly after I watched it.  It’s pretty much perfect.

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