Perfect / Emma Blackery

perfectI’m gonna go out on a limb and guess that nobody that reads this will have heard of this song. She’s not a star in the traditional sense, but rather a YouTuber from Britain- a star very much in the 21st century mold.  Because of that, I’m not surprised that my daughter brought this song to my attention.  I always thought about how my musical taste might influence my child, but I never really gave much thought to how my influence on her taste might eventually influence mine.

My first exposure to Blackery was the extremely dubious “F*** You Google Plus” in which she laments the integration of everything Google with G+, all the while strumming on a ukelele. The song was on Anna’s iPod and I’ve heard it a million times on the way to and from the barn. I really don’t mind that she listens to a song with the F-bomb in it – it actually reminds me a lot of me at that age although I would never have shared the song with my parents. Anna is actually more embarrassed if the song comes up around her friends – that and Marina & the Diamonds’ “Bubblegum Bitch.”

At the time Anna had me listen to “Perfect”, I didn’t know the singers were one and the same. But I was drawn in by the positive message of the song – you’re perfect the way you are. It’s a song that so many teens can stand to hear, what with the pressure to be this thing or that thing or to fit in with the popular crowd. I probably could have used a song like “Perfect” in my adolescence. I would have been pretty into it (the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree) and the lyrics would probably have helped me a lot back in those days when I was painfully shy and sure that no girl in the school liked me enough to even look at me, let alone want to date me.  It pleases me greatly that a song like “Perfect” exists for my 13 year-old daughter and that it arose from the medium that she relates to the most. I swear, the kids today watch more YouTube than they do actual TV.  As she said to me the other day, “I can just put in my search term and watch whatever I want. Why would I flip through channels trying to find something when I can do that?”  Indeed.

I was glad to have this song in my life this week, although I’m sure 42 year old dads are not her target demographic. I tweeted today that the trudge toward Friday was the longest in history this week, and it’s true. It’s been a rough week from an anxiety standpoint, helped nothing by the fact that I forgot to take my Effexor on Monday night before bed and didn’t realize it until the middle of the day Tuesday. Once I realized that, the acute anxiety I was feeling about everything under the sun made much more sense.  The rebound anxiety from even 12 hours without it is intense – it reminds me of when I lived that way. This week was also a reminder that no one should set my self-worth besides me and I had inadvertently allowed myself to let others do that. Foolhardy, and I knew better, but I still stumble.  Like Barbra Streisand, I’m a work in progress. A shout out to everyone who helped talk me through it. Some of you might not have even known you did it.

Of course, we all both are and aren’t perfect the way we are. The sentiment is a bit cliche, but for God’s sake, it’s a song that’s supposed to help people feel better about themselves. I think I can cut it some slack. If we aren’t constantly trying to make ourselves a little bit better, we might as well just give it up. But what I like to think is that I’m right where I’m supposed to be right now, and that’s enough for me.

Thanks for the song, Anna.

 

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