Madonna fans will be able to autocomplete that sentence fragment. For those that aren’t fans, the appropriate answer is “…that I am using words. They’ve gone out, lost their meaning, don’t function anymore.”
Fear not, this is NOT the last day that I am using words. But this is the last day that I am going to allow the tape in my head that insists on calling me stupid to go unchallenged. From this point on, I’m going to stop and say (out loud if I can), “no, I’m not.” This will have to go for self-depracating humor as well, something that I use as a bit of a crutch. Much like a recovering alcoholic can’t even have a sip of a drink, I am not allowed one little bit of a hit from the “stupid” tape.
The tape has been playing for so long in my head that it feels like the truth. But what do we say about feelings around here? Yeah, that’s right, they’re not facts.
This is probably a little bit too much information for my blog – even for me – but to hell with it. I need some accountability. I need to have my feet held to the fire every single time that I am self-depracating. Every single time I refer to myself negatively, even if it is only in jest. I’ve come to the conclusion that my brain can’t tell the difference between when “the stupid tape” is playing and when I’m just trying to be funny at my own expense. If you see me doing it, please call me on it. I’m asking you to do it so don’t feel bad about it.
With that, it’s back to folding laundry. The glamorous life.
PS. According to WordPress, this is my 1800th post. Yay me!