I have to admit that I’ve never messed around with Photoshop much. Mostly I’ve just been envious of people whose Photoshop skills vastly exceed mine, which would be pretty much everyone on the planet. But tonight I spent a little bit of time dinking around on it. I must confess that it is completely the fault of Forbidden Rice. Forbidden Rice, for those that don’t know, is a purplish-black rice that Heidi picked up at the co-op. Apparently, the reason it is forbidden is because the Chinese emperor was the only one who could eat it. Anyway, whatever the real story is, it’s marketed under the trademark Forbidden Rice. The word “forbidden” makes me think only of Superman: The Movie and Jor-El telling Kal-El “it is forbidden for you to interfere with human history.” But more than that, it’s the echo effect around the word forbidden “it is FORBIDDEN (forbidd-forbidde-forbidden)…” So naturally, that was what I said when Heidi brought that home from the store last night. Tonight we ate the Forbidden Rice, which just started it all up again.
This also reminded me of how Jeff and I always used to mimic the Kryptonian judges at the beginning of that movie – you know the ones, the floating green heads that banish General Zod, Ursa and Non to the Phantom Zone. When they pass their judgment, it is with a very dramatic and (again) echo-y “GUILTY!” If you’re still on my train of thought, this made me think of the Barbra Streisand album Guilty. The one with Barry Gibb standing with Babs on the cover dressed all in white. I got to thinking that, while the album cover is iconic, what it really needs is a little Kryptonian judge action. So I messed around with the images on Photoshop and got this.
Not bad for a first try and not knowing what the hell I’m doing.
So then I decided to up the ante a little bit. I’m kind of floored by the fact that, with all the Madonna fans with seemingly unlimited Photoshop abilities, no one had actually gotten around to Photoshopping the baby Jesus onto a staircase, thereby immortalizing Madonna’s “BABY JESUS ON THE STAIRS” lyric from MDNA‘s “I Don’t Give A.” I had asked Heidi if she could do this, but she got kind of busy with getting ready to go to L.A. last week and then she was IN L.A. last week. I think she’s still recovering a bit from the trip. So I thought I’d try my hand at it. And after watching a few tutorials online, I have what I consider a more than passable baby Jesus on the stairs.
Seriously, I’m thinking of starting a Tumblr of nothing but Photoshopped pictures of baby Jesus on the stairs. The first one might be baby Jesus on the stairs that Father Karras falls down in The Exorcist. Although I probably just talk big. Lord knows I don’t have time for such foolishness. Maybe.
Anyway, thank you Forbidden Rice for finally providing the inspiration to try my hand at Photoshopping. Who knew purple grains were so powerful?