Two sides of the very same coin

As someone who struggles with wanting to be authentically known for who I am while simultaneously holding all my cards close to my vest and not letting anyone else see them so that I can be completely safe, this blog post really hit home for me.

Live Life Out Loud and Online: Think, Shout, Write.

Words are so powerful – that much is true as well as cliche.  What I love most about John’s post is that it is fearless.  Not only is it fearless, but it’s fearless in its embrace of a type of masculinity that I personally think would help our society as a whole.  His assertion that “thinking out loud, whether talking it, or writing it, living out loud, cannot be as harmful as the world makes it seem” is a wise one.  Of course, there are limits.  One does not go spilling all their secrets in a public forum – there’s a time and place for everything and sometimes I think that we frequently have to make peace with the fact that for some things, there may never be a time and a place.

As social media has infiltrated every corner of our lives, it’s hard to keep parts of our lives separate from others.  That’s hard for me – I value my privacy but I also want to be “known.”  It’s why I choose who is in my life with a lot of thought and who gets into the inner circle with even more thought.  I feel like a lot of people think I’m rude because I am not super talkative in social environments where there are a lot of people I don’t know.  I take a long time to get to know people.  But it’s not really being rude, it’s just me being cautious.  But the flip side is that even though I am cautious, I also very much long for connection and community.  It’s hard to balance it.  The older I get, the better I get at doing it, but it’s still ultimately a very frustrating experience.

So living out loud is a good idea, but naturally, I’ll temper it with my Gemini caution.

BTW, I found this blog post from a site called The Good Men Project.  I don’t have any idea if this is a wacky PromiseKeepers type thing or not, but I have liked what I have read on their site so far.  They seem to respect men without being completely anti-masculinity, if that makes any sense.

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4 Responses to Two sides of the very same coin

  1. John Hill says:

    Dan, we discovered each other a few years ago via the Internet, and for all I knew you could have been the complete fabrication of some sicko’s imagination, but I have had enough contact to know that’s not the case. Your ability to share enough to create a connection without revealing too much has always clicked with me, and I find myself in a similar mindset. Thanks for your friendship and thanks for your sharing. We may even get to meet this June after all of that!

  2. Dan says:

    John, you can count on that! We’re definitely headed to your neck of the woods this summer.

  3. Dan, first off, thanks for sharing my post on your blog and for the kind words you shared about it. Second, nah, it’s not a Promise Keepers type thing at Good Men Project haha. Glad that you like the site and hope you keep returning to visit. I have followed the site since it launched and am honored to now be a contributor.

    This post right here is exactly what I hope to see out of reactions to something I have written. There definitely is two sides to every coin. And I love seeing the discussion continued and your thoughts written out. I am not a very social person in real life, and I keep myself pretty guarded sometimes. Writing is my way of letting more of that out to a world that is pretty much blind to who I am. Meaning, I can open up to a total stranger through writing. I can’t do that in person.

    Great post and thanks again!

    • Dan says:

      No problem – I really enjoyed the post. I’ve poked around your blog a bit and I’ll definitely be reading.

      I agree – I’m much braver in my writing than I might otherwise be. A lot of that has to do with the ability to carefully choose your words. I think there’s also something to the idea that when you write something, you put it out there and you wait for the follow-up. I think this is true especially for men in our society.

      In any event, thanks again for writing it.

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