Each day is Valentine’s Day

Dear Heidi,

It’s Valentine’s Day once again. I know we’re not big Valentine’s Day celebrators.  I like that it’s not  because we are opposed to it on moral grounds or because we had too many years of not having someone to celebrate Valentine’s Day with.  Truthfully, I think it has more than just a little bit  to do with the fact that we’re usually still trying to figure out what the hell happened at Christmas and the thought of trying to come up with another gift is just more than we can bear.  But really, it’s not just that.  It’s trite to say so, but we don’t need a day to remind each other to say “I love you.”  In this case, every kiss decidedly does NOT begin with Kay.

I can barely even remember our first Valentine’s Day together in 1996.  You would think that it would be a bit more memorable since it had been 5 years since I’d properly dated someone – unless you count the pseudo-date I had with a girl in my pharmacy class that I liked but who already had a boyfriend.  She and I saw While You Were Sleeping and it was kind of awkward in hindsight so it’s probably best that it didn’t work out – she was way too sporty for me anyway.  I think by Valentine’s Day of 1996, I was just amazed that someone found me cool enough to be with!  I both had no idea and was already convinced that you were the one I wanted to spend my life with by Valentine’s Day of 1996 if that makes any sense.  Getting each other the same card cinched the deal.

There is no one I’d rather spend my Valentine’s Day with than you.  We’ve always had a bit of an unconventional relationship despite the fact that we did go the fairly traditional get married-get jobs-buy a house-have kids route that my brother and sister did not feel the need to do.  We seem to have an uncanny knack for knowing when the other is going to fall to pieces, each taking their turn being the “strong one.”  We’ve got the “in sickness and in health” thing down pat, as well as the “for richer or for poorer.”  We aren’t that sticky and sappy “you complete me” kind of love.  Rather, we’re more about being that comfortable place to land at the end of the day after we’ve been out being busy being Dan or Heidi.  When the world gets to be too much for either of us, we know that the other one will be there.  So much of the time, the recharge for both of us is just being with the other, even if it’s nothing more than reading in the same room together.  Even though we’re so wrapped up in each other at this point that it’d be impossible for one of us to extricate from the other, we still have pretty solid individual identities apart from our identity as a couple, which I think is missing in a lot of married couples.

You’ve always been the one and you’ll always be the one.  I’m really lucky to have a partner who has changed along with me.  Although we don’t always see eye to eye on everything – God, wouldn’t THAT be boring? – I love that our relationship has a healthy dose of mutual respect and love as well as copious amounts of Damn You Auto Correct.  (Is that Kim Jong-Il?)  We’re goofy and serious and everything in between and as I always maintain, the best relationships are those that are equally balanced in both.  Knowing that you’ll be there when I walk in the door, no matter what may have happened at work, makes everything seem brighter.  You’re the safe place in a crazy world that frequently makes no sense.

I am thankful every day  for the Sex book, because without it, you might have never married me, writing me off as just a little too white bread.  Little did you know…

I love you honey.  Who needs Valentine’s Day when every day with you is Valentine’s Day.  And tonight, I’ll cover you in Neosporin.  I mean kisses.  DYAC!

Love always,
Dan

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